QUESTION: Is that the Al Azhar Islam Emergency Crisis Advice Line ? ANSWER: Yes, God speaking ! QUESTION: Can you help me ? There's this boy with skin like the finest silk yarn. ANSWER: Damn you, ya khawal, ya kalb, this is the most depraved evil.... OBJECTION: You misunderstand me. I've got a student in handcuffs. He was seen patronizing KFC and the little bitch is wearing pretty Calvin Klein panties. ANSWER: Sorry ya Sayed. That's different. We must save him from western witchcraft. Put the fear of Allah up his evil western exotic tender bijou arse ! LATEST: 15 March Al Azhar calls for jihad against "western values" while Amnesty slams torture and repression. x Click here. Latest news 22 May 2012: Cairo psychiatrist claims he can "cure" 70 to 75 per cent of gay teenagers.